


Can You Drown Me? (Please)

by Xx_Addict_With_A_Pen_xX



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety, Bullying (severe), But not too sad, Dark Thoughts, Depression, F/F, Gen, He's gonna jump off a bridge, I don't want to give anything away, I promise, Insecurities, Its sad I won't lie, Jenna is the school counselor/guidance counselor, Josh is suicidal, Just read, Loosley based off of Friend Please, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Mentions of self harm/violence, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Suicidal Thoughts/Actions, Surprise Ending, Tyler talks him out of it, You won't regret it!, graphic content, major plot twist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 07:42:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8319529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xx_Addict_With_A_Pen_xX/pseuds/Xx_Addict_With_A_Pen_xX
Summary: “Friend, please remove your hands from over your eyes for me. I know you want to leave but friend please don't take your life away from me.” Josh Dun is suicidal. One night, he goes to end it all by jumping off the Columbus Bridge but is stopped by Tyler, a beautiful stranger who pleads for him to reconsider. Tyler discloses that he too was once suicidal but has since found his purpose in life. He and Tyler talk about things that Josh had never spoken about out loud before and Tyler actually listens to Josh. Nobody has ever truly listened to him. Josh goes back home that night with Tyler's words echoing in his mind and returns to the same spot nearly every night just to talk with Tyler. This goes on for six days. On the seventh day, Josh goes to the bridge only to find Tyler isn't there. He doesn't see him again for 5 months. When they finally do see each other again, Tyler isn't himself. He's hiding something and Josh is determined to find out what exactly it is.





	1. I Can't Do This Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> ***Warning***  
> Severe bullying  
> Violence (semi graphic)  
> Self harm  
> Suicidal thoughts  
> Past suicide attempt (mentioned)  
> Sexual harassment (indirect)
> 
> **PSA***  
> Josh will NOT meet Tyler until NEXT CHAPTER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh gets beat up, he goes home that night and thinks too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Graphic violence and pretty severe bullying in this chapter so beware of that (there's gonna be a lot of that stuff so just make sure you read the tags and just be careful about every chapter b/c Im too lazy to write warnings out for every chapter)

(Josh's POV)

"Fucking faggot!" Steven shouted, pushing me into a bunch of lockers. 

His "friends" laughed.

"Go drink some bleach or something!" Brad, one of Steven's 'friends' yelled at me as their group walked down the hallway.

"I wouldn't give you the satisfaction" I murmured to myself once they were gone. 

My books were scattered all over the floor. Most people who passed by ignored me completely but some found it funny to step on and kick my stuff further away. 

"Fucking assholes." I scoffed, trying to pick everything up quickly. 

As I was reaching for the last book, someone's hand touched it first. I looked up slightly and came face to face with the school counselor. 

"Here you go, Josh." She smiled, standing up and handing me the book. 

"Thanks Ms. Black." I mumbled. 

"Anytime!" She smiled once again. 

I began to turn and walk away when she spoke again. 

"Uh Josh?" She started, causing me to turn around and look at her. 

"I just want you to know that my office is always open if you need somewhere to eat lunch or ever want to talk. Okay?" 

I gnawed at the inside of my cheek nervously. 

"O-okay." I squeaked out before practically running the other way to my science class. 

-

I took the bathroom pass halfway through 2nd period. An anxiety attack was on its way and I needed to isolate myself until it passed. The bathroom managed to stay empty until lunch period. I opened the door to leave and was immediately shoved back in.  ~~~~

"There you are pussy boy!" Steven smiled, shoving me back until I was cornered.

"L-leave me alone." I stammered, mentally cursing myself for the slight stutter in my voice.

"Or what?" Steven asked.

"You gonna run to that hot piece of ass I saw you talking to in the hallway this morning and tattle on me?" He puffed his chest out in an attempt to be more threatening. 

I had to physically strain to keep myself from vomiting. 

"Mmm mhm what I wouldn't give to bend her over a desk and fuck her tight little cunt." He chuckled. 

"You're disgusting." I spat, bringing my leg up and stomping on Steven's foot with all my weight. 

He let out a cry of pain and fell over. I took that opportunity to zoom past him and run to the only other safe place in the school.

-

"Oh, hello Josh." Ms. Black greeted as I practically ran into her office and shut the door behind me.

"C-can I stay here for last period?" I asked, pulling the window blinds down so nobody could see into her office and spot me. 

Ms. Black furrowed her brow in worry. 

"Of course you can." She replied.

I gave her a 'thank you' nod and sat down in one of the chairs across from her. The room stayed kind of comfortably quiet until she spoke up again.

"Josh, may I ask you a personal question?" 

I swallowed hard and nervously picked at my cuticles. Deciding that answering a question is the least I could do since I sort of dragged her into my messy situation, I gave a small nod.

"Are you hiding from those boys that pushed you this morning?" 

I looked down and pondered whether or not I should answer honestly. The answer was pretty obvious anyways though wasn't it?

"Give me their names and I will get them to leave you alone." She spoke again, taking my silence for an answer. 

"N-no!" I almost shouted, making Ms. Black flinch a little. 

"Sorry." I apologized. 

"If I give you their names then you'll be in the middle of it a-and it'll just make things w-worse." I stammered, chewing on the inside of my cheek.

"Okay, I don't need names." She responded. 

"But I am going to be keeping my eye on you from now on." She finished, raising her brows to show she was serious. 

I found myself slightly gasping for air. 

"T-that's not necessary." I tried to convince her. 

"Clearly it is." She replied, handing me a mirror to show me the bruise that was blossoming on my cheek from earlier this morning.

I cursed myself for not noticing it earlier and covering it up.

About fifteen minutes of comfortable silence pasted before the bell rang, signaling the end of the school day. I stood up and walked to the door. 

"Have a good night Josh." Ms. Black said as I began to walk out. 

"Thanks y-you too." I replied, before stepping out into the mass crowds of students trying to exit the building. 

-

I was nearly home when I felt strong arms pull me backwards and to the cold, solid ground. 

"Miss me?" Steven smirked.

I wanted to vomit right then and there.

"Lets finish what we started boys." He spoke to Brad, who had his phone out videotaping the whole thing, and Justin who picked me up by the collar of my shirt and held my arms behind my back so I couldn't escape.

"Nowhere to escape to this time, Joshua." He snickered, before shoving his elbow right into my already bruised ribs. 

I gasped for air, and tried my hardest to slip out of Justin's grip, but it was no use.

Blow after blow, kick after kick, all the pain was mixing together and I started to feel myself slipping out of conciousness. 

"Uh uh uh." Steven scolded, grasping my head and shaking me a few times. 

"No going to sleep on us." 

"I want you to feel everything." 

By the end of it, I was left almost unconscious, with every inch of my body in excruciating pain. To top it all off, it began to rain outside. Once I was sure that I would just die out here from hypothermia, my adrenaline kicked in and I fought through the pain to get to my feet, and get home. The journey was long, and painful but I somehow managed to reach my house in the end. Making note that my face was probably hideously bruised, bloody, and swollen, I decided to avoid confrontation with my family and instead, crawl through my bedroom window that was always unlocked for times like this. Once inside, I slowly made my way to the bathroom and glanced in the mirror. My face was indeed swollen and blood covered my chin. My white shirt was now stained red and brown from the blood. I was going to have to make sure to hide that when laundry day came around.

"Great." I muttered, observing the bruise that was reblossoming from earlier.

I winced as my fingertips grazed over it. It took a much longer time to successfully undress and get into the shower than it normally would for me. But, I did it nonetheless. 

-

I laid awake for hours that night. My subconscious refusing to let me close my eyes because closing my eyes meant sleep and sleep meant that the time flew by fast and before I'd know it, another dreadful day where I'm forced to be alive would have arrived. I turned my head and looked at the alarm clock on my nightstand. It read 2:45am. I let out a sigh before sitting up and turning the lamp back on. No sense in sitting in the dark if I didn't have to. Light illuminated from the lamp and shone onto my arm that was resting by my side. The ugly, faded scars that I inflicted upon myself littered my skin. The longest one stretched from my wrist to mid forearm. Looking at it brought back awful memories. What fifteen year old kid tries to kill himself and not only fails, but manages to keep it a secret from his entire family?! Two years and counting it's been my dirty little secret. I'd surely get sent to a madhouse if my parents ever found out.

"Pathetic, yet beautiful." I whispered to myself, tracing over the indents left by the scars. 

I tried to focus on something else besides my arm. I _really_ did. But, no matter what I tried to do, my focus always found its way back to the scars. The long one in particular. I imagined how good it felt when I cut. How good it felt to be in control for once. My skin began to crawl with temptation. I gave into that temptation like I always did. The crimson liquid trickling out of my skin always fascinated me. The sting that shot through my body when I first began to tear the skin apart, there wasn't a better feeling in the world. Except maybe the burning in my lungs as water fills them. Drowning was always how I imagined I'd go. It seemed ideal for me considering I usually felt like I was drowning most of the time anyways. That's when the greatest idea I've ever had struck. I made my way out of bed and to the window.

**I was going to jump off of the Columbus Bridge.**


	2. Friend, Please (Drown Me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh heads to the Columbus Bridge. He almost jumps but is stopped by Tyler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Shout out to @softheathen and @blurrycake for being the first two commenters! I appreciate the support greatly!) 
> 
> ***WARNING***  
> Suicidal thoughts  
> Suicidal actions  
> Deep thoughts  
> Insecurity  
> Lots of emotions

(Josh's POV)

It was about a fifteen minute walk from my house to the bridge. Would have been ten if I didn't have to stop to allow the pain to subside every few steps. My heart raced faster as I approached it. This was it. I was _actually_ going to jump. 

"No more pain, no more hurt." I repeated in a hushed voice as I climbed onto the ledge. 

I looked at the water. Waves crashed furiously over the sharp rocks in time with thunder that shook the sky. A few tears fell from my eyes but were easily washed away by the rain that was pouring down.

"Wash me with your water!" I screamed to the sky, begging God for forgiveness.

My feet inched towards the edge. 

I held my arms out and leaned forward. Peace and tranquility washed through my veins as I began to fall. It was gone within seconds. The silence now filled with the voice of a stranger. Foreign hands grasping my fragile frame of a body. 

*"White Noise"*

I looked at the stranger. His mouth was moving but I could hear no sound. My mind finally caught up with the current situation. Panic filled my chest. I flailed my arms and legs, in attempt to free myself from the strangers grasp but I wasn't strong enough. My voice was all I had left so I began to scream. The stranger put his hand over my mouth to muffle the sound coming out. 

"Shhh I'm not going to hurt you I swear. Please just stop screaming." The stranger pleaded. 

I looked into his eyes and saw truth and honesty. This made me stop. Once he was sure I'd oblige, he removed his hand from over my mouth and released his near death grip on my frame. 

"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to." He began. 

"But I'm going to talk so please just listen okay?" He looked over at me for an answer. 

I bit my lip anxiously but nodded anyways.

"I know that we don't know each other and that I don't know your story or even your name for that matter but I do know that you're on this earth for a reason." 

"I've met a lot of people all throughout my life. People from different cultures, different religions, ethnicities, sexual orientations and skin tones. But I'll tell you who I've never met. I've never met someone whose life didn't have meaning. Your life has purpose I swear to you it does. You just have to search for it. I'm begging you please just stick around long enough to find it." 

I looked at him in both awe and shock. Here I was sitting next to a stranger on the wet sidewalk as rain poured down from the sky, listening to him tell me that I'm important, his words powerful and poetic. It took me nearly jumping off a bridge for someone to actually tell me and almost make me feel like I might just matter. We sat in silence for awhile as I let this strange boys words sink in. The thought of someone actually caring about me hit me hard. Overwhelmed with emotion when his words finally did sink in, I threw my hands over my eyes as the sobs began. 

"Hey shhh shhh It's okay." The boy spoke softly as he enveloped me in a small hug.

I sobbed louder from the affectionate human contact that I had not experienced for quite some time. He rubbed his palm gently over my back in attempts to calm me down and regulate my breathing. It seemed to be working. 

"God, this is pathetic I'm pathetic." I sniffled, hands still over my eyes as I began crying again. 

"You're not pathetic." The boy whispered, empathy lacing his words. 

He moved his arms away from their previous position around me and placed his hands onto my own.

"Friend, please remove your hands from over your eyes for me." He pleaded softly, wrapping his hands around mine in attempts to remove them.

I didn't want to be seen this way. Vulnerable, and wounded. I also didn't have enough fight left in me to stop him from removing my hands. He stayed grasping my hands even after they were off of my face and resting in my lap. Our eyes met again and for some reason, I trusted him. He looked like he understood what I was going though somehow and my crippled heart soaked that up like it was water. 

"I know you want to leave." He stated with an understanding voice.

"But Friend, please don't take your life away from me." His voice cracked and his eyes brimmed with tears.

I let out a sniffle and looked down. I might've just fall in love if I looked at him any longer. 

"Y-you don't even know me." I sniffled again.

"I want to." He replied. 

I looked up once again. Taking in the strangers words. Why would anyone want to know me by choice? 

"No you don't." I argued back, pulling my hands out from under his.

"I'm Tyler." He introduced himself, ignoring my argument.

I hesitated. 

"J-Josh." I finally stammered out. 

Comfortable silence surrounded us for a few minutes.

"I used to be suicidal too." Tyler suddenly blurted out. 

I just looked at him. 

"I'm not suicidal." I snapped. 

I hated that term. Mostly because I didn't see my situation that way. Suicidal people **want** to kill themselves, I however, don't necessarily **want** to kill myself. I just want people to know that I'm capable of doing it and that death isn't something that scares me. It's an inevitable tragedy that catches up to us all in the end anyways. Why wait around and live my life in fear when I could just welcome it instead. The word just made the whole situation more real hence why I chose not to label myself or let other label me with it.

"Right." He replied.

"You just like to jump off of bridges for fun then?" 

Our eyes met again. This time, anger rushed through my veins. 

"And I suppose you just happen to be walking by when you saw me?" I spat at Tyler defensively. 

He didn't reply. It was only when the silence became deafening that Tyler spoke up again. 

"It started for me back when I was sixteen." He began. 

I looked up at him. 

"My life was pretty average for the most part. I had friends, a really supportive girlfriend, and a family that loved me with all their hearts. It wasn't normal for a kid like me to have these horrible thoughts lodged into my head. I mean I had everything I could have possibly wanted!" He raised his voice with emotion towards the end. 

I continued to listen.

"From an outside perspective, everything was perfectly fine. It's what went on behind closed doors that became my problem. I would lay in bed at night and just think. I would think about how much pressure I had on my back and about how any mistake I made would be seen by the world and I could never do something wrong. I was the oldest of four kids and I had to set an example for my siblings. After awhile, the thoughts got deeper and darker. I would lose sleep over it. There was this rotten voice in my head that represented my insecurities. I named him Blurryface. Every night he would keep me awake by reminding me that I had no purpose and that I was going to live an average life and die an average death."

"Nobody was going to remember me after I was gone." A chill ran down Tyler's back as he spoke those words.

"So, one night, I waited until everyone was asleep and I snuck out. I walked three miles to the downtown area in my hometown and I stood on the ledge of this very bridge." 

My eyes widened. 

"D-did you jump?" I asked, looking into his eyes, completely forgetting that if he had, there's no possible way he would be here right now to tell the tale.

He chuckled. 

"No, I was too scared." 

"But something else did happen that night." He added. 

"I found my purpose." He said in almost a whisper. 

"I found my purpose." He repeated a little louder. 

"What was your purpose?" I asked him, intrigued by his words." 

"If I told you it wouldn't be mine anymore." He answered. 

I just gave a silent nod in response. 

"What were you doing down here tonight?" I finally asked, still wondering from earlier when I mentioned it. 

He looked at me and then away. 

"You tell me your plans I'll tell you mine." 

I looked up at the sky. It had stopped raining some time ago. I was going to off myself. What more was there to say?

"If I'm in need of some inspiration I come back here. It helps my thinking process." Tyler said, taking my silence for an answer.

"Reminds me of what could have been, and serves to make sure I never take another day for granted." 

"Look, I know that we don't know each other at all and that you want to leave this place but friend, please stay alive. It's worth it I promise." Tyler pleaded and assured, misty eyes looking into my own. 

I looked away. His words were nice but that urgent need to go was still in my chest. I needed to do what I came here for to make it go away. 

"I have nothing else left to say." Tyler confessed after a long silence between us. 

"But, I will listen to you all day." He finished, looking at me again. 

I scoffed. 

"No you won't." I replied. 

"Yes I will." He argued back. 

"Why? Don't you have your own life to live? Why would you want to waste your time talking to some nobody like me?" I asked him, tears brimming my eyes and lip trembling. 

"You are not a nobody." I wouldn't look at him. 

"Josh, look at me." He begged. 

I turned and met his eyes. 

"You have purpose. Your life means something and even if it may seem otherwise, there are people who love you and who need you to stay alive. You have to stay alive for them. And if that won't convince you, then stay alive for me. Please." He pleaded, voice cracking as the tears that he's been holding back all night exploded. 

I didn't know Tyler. Nor did I know why he was so persistent on keeping me alive but, he was the only person in my life right now that showed any real care and concern for me. I couldn't help but lunge forward and wrap my arms around him. He made the feeling of worthlessness in my chest surrender. At least for tonight.  My actions took him by surprise but he wrapped his arms around me just as tight. This experience was something that I didn't even know I needed.

"Thank you." I sobbed into his neck, bunched up piles of his shirt balled up in my fists as I clung to him.

"Staying alive is much better than the alternative. Trust me." Tyler replied with a sniffle.

I was confused by his response but chose not to ask as we parted. We both looked up at the sky. The sunrise was peaking through the morning clouds. Misty fog hung low in the atmosphere. 

"I uh, suppose I should be getting back home before my parents notice that I'm gone." I sniffled, slowely rising to my feet and wiping the fresh tears off of my face. 

"Yeah." Tyler responded, rising to his feet as well.

We stood awkwardly for a minute before I spoke up. 

"I really do appreciate you man." I said to Tyler, genuinely grateful that he pulled me off of that ledge. 

"We should um, do this again sometime." I spoke again. 

"The t-talking thing I mean. Minus the almost jumping part." I quickly stuttered out. 

He just gave me a small smile. 

"I'd like that."  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god this update took FOREVER. I'm SOOO sorry this took so long to post I swear I wasn't being lazy! Anyways, feel free to let me know if you are enjoying this so far. I know there isn't much to go off of yet considering I just started it but. I hope I did this chapter justice and it wasn't too cheesy or corny with all the direct friend please lyrics I put in it. I know writing song lyrics into regular stories can be tacky if it's not done "correctly" so I hope I did this super important chapter justice and I hope you guys know that I genuinely do appreciate every single one of you who read, leave kudos, comment, bookmark, and/or subscribe! It means the world to me that my writing is something that other people kind of enjoy to read.

**Author's Note:**

> Wooo new fic! Honestly I have a whole like page of ideas that I plan on writing one of these days. I know I really should not be starting another fic because let's be real, I like never update any of my others stories lmao but this idea came to me and I was like oh damn I cannot pass up the opportunity to write this. I'm sure there are others similar to this and that the gist of the storyline isn't really "creative" or "new" but as the additional tags mention, this story is going to have a major plot twist so that's where my story and others similar to it differ. I'm not even going to apologize for all the "Friend, Please" lyrics and references I have put/will be putting in this. I'm trash for that song so xD Anyways, I'd like to thank any and every one who is currently reading this story and/or any of my other work ilysm! You guys reading and commenting etc are the only reason I even keep putting work out there for the world to see. 
> 
> Stay Alive |-/


End file.
